im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
