Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
