two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
