What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
