i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
