Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
