Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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