Where are you?
In a non slutty way
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
