I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
