nut hugger
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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