i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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