I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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