Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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