The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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