Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just high enough for therapy.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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