ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
high people should be assigned attendants
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
