I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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