there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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