idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
