Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
