everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
