Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
