Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
