So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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