even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
