Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
