Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
