If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
