Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
