We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
