Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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