so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
