I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
