my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize