I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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