I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
