We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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