i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
