he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
