My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
