dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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