I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
