You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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