Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
