I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
