True but thats because hes a fetus.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
