FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
