Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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