You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
