I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
