what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am midnight drunk by noon
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
