I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dignity is for republicans.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
