she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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