You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was like eating out sand paper
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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