so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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