When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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