Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
