if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There are leaves in my underwear?
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