I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
